27silverdice15

Creepy Neighbor Guy.

I'm working on forgiveness. I'm trying to be all Desmond Tutu about it. It's fucking hard. But today I was randomly and I must admit only momentarily grateful to the dickhead. And that scares me a little, but I think it's because if he hadn't completely destroyed me in those few minutes I wouldn't know that I can pick myself up and put myself back together again. I think I needed to know that.

It's GLOOMY TODAY!!! Rainy and grey and absolutely beautiful, and perfect, and I'm having a lovely day! Dorry was here for lunch (as per usual) and I made Salisbury steak and peas and potatoes and gravy, it was DELICIOUS. And we both just kind of curled up on separate corners of my bed and read, and ahhh it was just a lovely lovely day, I had a presentation for IT which i aced of course. And then I came home and cleaned, and I've been listening to jazz all day and GAH I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW PERFECTLY HAPPY I AM!!!!

*sigh* this day is perfect and i wish that all my days could be like this for the rest of all eternity.

I'm so sorry I haven't been better about this, but it is so difficult to find the time to get on the internet.

Well right now, I'm sitting in my Paris apartment listening to the paris rain fall on my paris roof after I ran past the eiffel tower to get home. i'm currently soaked in paris rain. It feels like a dream, I think it is a dream, actually I know it's not because if I was dreaming I wouldn't be alone, but you know c'est la vie. And don't get me wrong I have tons of friends (in fact I'm out with them almost every night), but yeah you know what I mean!

Well, I know that's *uber* short, but I really need to wash dishes so I'm going to go do that...

I'm already packing clothes... Sorry people but according to the facebook countdown I have 25 and a half days before I leave! I cannot waste a single day!!! But anyway, so today I'm packing some clothes right and I'm just packing whatever I know i'm not going to wear between now and then, and then i have a thought, and my face is probably like in Zombie Movies when the squealy girl just finds out her boyfriend has magically become one of the undead himself. I'm not good with celsius/farenheit conversions and so here i am packing long sleeve shirts and stuff and I have absolutely no idea what it's going to be like during orientation. I could be packing for the mild 18 degrees celsius and it turns out that in fact 18 degrees is NOT MILD AT ALL! Well, I went to my handy dandy notebook (computer) and brought up the trusty internet and it turns out 18 is 64 and a sigh of relief washed over me. Anyway what's nice is that soon i'll be so used to celsius i won't have to pull up the handy dandy internet anymore, and you know what's even better, and probably tougher to get used to, is that I don't have to ask what the temperature is going to be EVERY DAY anymore, because it will probably be the same as the day before, and when it's sunny it will be warm and when it's cloudy cold... what a concept!!! Stupid colorado and it's stupid weather.

More exciting news on the preparation front: I weighed one full suitcase today and it weighed about 43 pounds! which is under fifty! which is happiness! I also finished crocheting one of my leg warmers and it actually turned out fantastico! now I just have to finish the other one. And finally I'm proud of myself for actually accomplishing certain things today. 

Hoorah for getting ready! And boo to Jazz who does not have to stress over packing... and therefore I might recruit you to help me instead! xD Love You! 

Now I'm going to read book two of Breaking Dawn.

A: 

First of all I would like to point out how annoying this question is, and I tend to get it asked more often than I'd like and by the same people week after week. And when they ask, they don't actually want the truth, they want you to say "Yes, I've managed to get my visa," or "No, I still have tons of shopping to do." Because most of the time people ask in passing, short conversation. Little do they know, the question does not have a passing short answer. For example, I go to the bank probably once a week. The tellers all know who I am, and what i'm doing in the fall and i almost always seem to be waited on by Margaret. We go through the same routine every time. We greet each other I tell her what I want deposited where, and while she works on doing that, she always asks some version of the "are you ready" question. I always give her some version of "yes and no" and usually a little anecdote, or what I've done to prepare lately. The response she wants. And never ever do I think twice about whether or not that's the truth. 

I don't fucking know if I'm ready or not. I don't think that I'll (or anyone for that matter) know if I'm ready till I get there and I'm doing it. I can have my visa, and pack enough peanut butter to last all year, but that doesn't mean I'll survive. Parts of me say I'm abso-fucking-lutley ready to be out of this ironically not god forsaken place and go live my own life, and there's another part of me that's just a little nervous. And the thing I'm most afraid of is the fact that I haven't really been scared or upset about leaving at all. I guess what I'm getting at is it varies. 

Today, I feel like the 28th of August cannot come fast enough. I cannot wait to be on my own. My mother I re-realized (this isn't the first time)  is very very uptight and anxious she has to have control of everything and know every last detail about my life, and I cannot wait to escape that. To be able to make plans an hour before they happen. Don't get me wrong I adore my mother, but we're very very different (and also very very similar) and after living together for about 18 years she's finally getting on my nerves. I was actually DEFIANT today! CUE THE CELEBRATION! I'm finally becoming a teenager! (ha! after being one for what? 5 years now? now that I'm nearly done!) Actually, some days I feel like I'm 42... it's weird. Anyway that was way off topic. Ready-ness. Work also makes me very ready, as I was explaining to Drew earlier today... I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!!!!! Seriously though, that family, god bless 'em, has reduced me to insanity. I have 4 days left and it feels like an ETERNITY. But, with encouragement from my beloved father, who I will miss very much, I'm trying not think of it as time wasted but as working towards a goal. 

This particular goal happens to be cooking classes. I found out through Paris Anglo that there are chefs who do this whole cooking experience thing where you buy the ingredients at the market, cook the food and eat it in a personal setting, and it sounds fantastic. It's also probably terribly expensive, I don't know I'll find out. Anywho, Paris Anglo is this entry's "Nifty France Link." The above link takes you to their classifieds page, which is always full of interesting things to see and do, and it's all in English, so it's quite interesting and helpful especially for us newbies to Paris! 

Well that's pretty much all for now. 

 Well I had a brilliant stoke of genius yesterday when I originally wanted to write this post. I was reading my book  A Town Called Paris: Falling in Love the City of Light, and at one point the author mentions, "American Princesses on daddy funded six months study tours." Now I wasn't that all offended because Bryce Corbett the author is hilarious, but we are not all "daddy-funded" "princesses." I'm providing myself as the counter-example of course. Anyway I immediately thought that it might be interesting if i dusted off the old LJ. Seeing as I have a little over a month before I depart on my not so daddy funded much longer than six month study ADVENTURE and I have much to do to prepare for it I might share a little of it here.  

Well that was the plan. 

We were leaving the cabin yesterday, halfway through denise was helping me with the journal makeover, and all was well we stopped and ran a few errands in Woodland Park. Yesterday was also a motorcycle race up the Pikes Peak Highway and traffic was slow.  We also got rearended. And I made the mistake of complaining that my head hurt. Which meant I had to get ambulanced to the hospital. And I'm so grateful for two things right now. A) they didn't cut my clothes off and B) morphine. Well, all I had was muscle strain. I'm so fortunate. I wore my seatbelt. Message to everyone: wear seatbelts! Well I'm home now, and I'm back on track to start my "Life in Paris" blog.  So let's get started with something i'm looking forward to about Paris. 

Things I'm looking forward to:
#1: There will be absolutely no reason for me to be in a car. Because apparently I attract accidents like a magnet.