Lately I feel like my life needs to be recorded. Maybe because I've done so much reading of late. But all of a sudden, I keep feeling the need to record every thought in my brain, every book I read movie I watch etc. And what's worse is I feel the need to publish it. For everyone to see. The internet is like exhibitionism for shy people. Parade your life around instead of your body. And at the same time it's a great way to stay connected with people, I know what Denise is reading right now from Living social. Don't even need to ask her. it's a creepy paradox of knowledge sans the quest for it. I mean sure i seek it out but at no real pains to me. easy access to information, a blessing or a curse?

And what does me posting these thoughts on LJ make me?

Creepy Neighbor Guy.

I'm working on forgiveness. I'm trying to be all Desmond Tutu about it. It's fucking hard. But today I was randomly and I must admit only momentarily grateful to the dickhead. And that scares me a little, but I think it's because if he hadn't completely destroyed me in those few minutes I wouldn't know that I can pick myself up and put myself back together again. I think I needed to know that.

" With thoughts of the tens of millions of human lives destroyed by other millions. I'll just say that I believe- no empirically, alas, but only theoretically- that, for someone who has read a lot of Dickens, to shoot his like in the name of some idea is somewhat more problematic than for someone who has read no Dickens... A literate, educated person, to be sure, is fully capable, after reading some political treatise or tract, of killing his like, and even of experiencing, in so doing a rapture of conviction. Lenin was literate, Stalin was literate, so was Hitler, as for Mao zedong, he even wrote verse. What all these men had in common, though was that ttheir hit list was longer than their reading list."

^^ That's awesome!

Anyway, I just got home from a really awesome evening. And I just wanted to share with you that my evening was awesome. Check out the pictures on facebook when they go up. Wish you all were here to share the awesomeness with me.

Oh and I actually had alcolhol today for the first time EVER. 3 sips of sparkling wine. but that counts I'm no longer an alcohol virgin...

It's GLOOMY TODAY!!! Rainy and grey and absolutely beautiful, and perfect, and I'm having a lovely day! Dorry was here for lunch (as per usual) and I made Salisbury steak and peas and potatoes and gravy, it was DELICIOUS. And we both just kind of curled up on separate corners of my bed and read, and ahhh it was just a lovely lovely day, I had a presentation for IT which i aced of course. And then I came home and cleaned, and I've been listening to jazz all day and GAH I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW PERFECTLY HAPPY I AM!!!!

*sigh* this day is perfect and i wish that all my days could be like this for the rest of all eternity.

Alrighty, What do I have to tell you? Well first the Scary News.

My neighbor is a creep. I was going to tell you the whole story, but I am supressing that and can't bring myself to actually tell the full story. Let's just say that he didn't just want help writing a letter. And I can't really explain it through LJ, and that sucks because I don't want to scare you into thinking that he raped me or anything (because he didn't) but he definitely took advantage of me and it was definitely a scary thing, and I definitely don't feel comfortable going home, but I don't know what's going to happen now (it just happened yesterday) but I have good friends here who are taking care of me and making sure I'm okay, and so I'm in the process of taking care of it as we speak so don't worry I'll be fine! AND MY MOTHER DOESN'T KNOW YET! 

NOW THE GOOD NEWS:

I bought a beautiful black dress to wear to the halloween party! Now I just need matching accessories, and I'll be set!! I'm so excited it's a GORGEOUS DRESS!!

You all should come visit me, because me and my friends know how to show people a good time! And we have a weird potato tradition you need to partake in!  Okay I'm getting distracted by friends and facebook so I'll end it there...

It's the end of the tilt-a-whirl.... I had quite a day that kept me from being sad or lonely but now that I'm here all alone... it's a little sad, I'm a little sad... I'm tempted to call Jazz... But I'm really tired maybe I'll take a shower then call, we'll see. Jazz if you're reading this and I haven't called I will soon, I may have fallen asleep...

So Denise wanted me to post to my LJ soon and I really don't want to get up to finish cleaning my apartment so I'm gonna just update. I don't really have that much to say though.... I don't have an awesome Rick to post about... and yeah. My friends are coming over for Thai food tonight, well we're going to go get Thai food then come to my apartment to eat it. I'm exhausted because last night was the first night i didn't sleep well in my apartment, it was weird.... anyway.

Well my mom left this morning, and I didn't have time to be sad about it because I had to rush back to French class. I only managed to be there for 5 minutes... damn metro.... but my teacher actually seemed really nice about it, soooooo I guess she just likes me :) Then I had English, which was interesting I guess but is generally boring because we're studying Oedipus....

Oh here's something exciting this weekend is "journees du patrimoine" which means that essentially all the museums and state buildings are free and stuff to get into, and there are special markets and fun stuff so I'll probably go to that, and it'll be fun.


OH!!!! BIG NEWS!!!!! CONDI FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT RUSSIA HAS BECOME AUTHORITARIAN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well really she said that they are becoming more authoritarian.... I read that in the newspaper this morning I was so excited and at the same time i was like DUH Condi.... 

anyway that's all for now.... bad entry i know, but I'll give you better later I promise...

I'm so sorry I haven't been better about this, but it is so difficult to find the time to get on the internet.

Well right now, I'm sitting in my Paris apartment listening to the paris rain fall on my paris roof after I ran past the eiffel tower to get home. i'm currently soaked in paris rain. It feels like a dream, I think it is a dream, actually I know it's not because if I was dreaming I wouldn't be alone, but you know c'est la vie. And don't get me wrong I have tons of friends (in fact I'm out with them almost every night), but yeah you know what I mean!

Well, I know that's *uber* short, but I really need to wash dishes so I'm going to go do that...

Tonight my dad took me to see "Vicky Christina Barcelona" it was really good. It was Woody Allen, I love Woody Allen. I haven't seen a lot by him so i'm not like an expert or anything, I just love everything I've seen by him. (Which is VCB, Match Point and  Scoop... and they all have Scarlett Johannsen... hmmm)

Anyway other than that i just wanted to say, that I'm finally nervous about something, which is not finding the welcome desk in the airport....  and now that I"m nervous I can't sleep hence the 12 am LJ post...

We're gonna rock around the clock tonight! 

Right now two weeks in the future I will be in a plane hovering across the atlantic ocean. 

Therefore this post is dedicate to time themed songs. (Because every moment is tied to music) We've already had the classic, and now a few more favorites. 

You're there in the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation
Let's do the Time Warp again!

ahhhh the time warp! which, although not preformed at Thespians, reminds me of thespians and me and Drew knowing all the lines from R&G Are Dead! good times! 

There's "Turn Back Time" by Aqua, which reminds me of my youth, when I would constantly listen to Aqua, and knew all the words. 

Here's another famous one: 

Lyin' in my bed I hear the clock tick and I think of you
Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights almost left behind 
Suitcase of memories 
Time after somtimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead 
You're calling to me 
I can't hear what you've said
Then you say go slow 
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look and you will find me.... 

YOU GUESSED IT "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper, which was made famous again by the recent film Napoleon Dynamite, but if you're curious, "I'll Kiss You" and "She Bop" are also good if you like 80s Pop! 

Ah, and I'm sure we all remember the boy band ballad of our early childhood "God must have spent a little more time on you" by the oh so lovable N*SYNC which has produced a cast of characters, from the man who brought sexy back, JT, and the homosexual astronaut, Lance, to everyone's favorite TV game show host, Joey Fatone. Don't get me wrong, I love these guys, they provided for a very entertaining childhood.  

We'll end with the ultimate final dance number, not only of Kellerman's Talent Show, and the classic film Dirty Dancing, but also of this entry, So everybody go jump into the recuperating Patrick Swayze's arms, and turn up the volume on "(I've Had) The Time of My Life."

 ...But I am happily unaware of the fact that no one cares and truly believe that I am amazing enough for someone to stumble across this randomly and find some sense of joy from it. .............................. Okay maybe not the second part as much, but a girl can dream right? 

The point is two good things happened today amidst all the BAD. 

Number 1. I finished Persuasion, and for hose of you fond of adventure and intrigue and scandal and lust.... Don't read it. But for those who are more practical, like myself, and have interest in character and clever narration of seemingly pointless events, this my friends is the book for you. If you can struggle through the first half you'll absolutely love the second and it will make you feel all warm and tingly inside. But I don't want to give away too much! 

Speaking of Warm and Tingly...

Number 2.  We Watched Sabrina tonight. ahhh Sabrina. Now despite what kind of movie person you are everyone needs to see at least one Audrey Hepburn Movie. If you like Comedy "How to Steal A Million" Drama "Two For the Road" Documentary "Gardens of the World with Audrey Hepburn" Romance "Sabrina" Or "Roman Holiday" And if you like weird indie flicks, "Breakfast at Tiffany's" There are others of course, but those are the ones that I have actually seen, and can recommend. Oh and if you like Horror, I would Recommend Rear Window, Alfred Hitchcock, absolutely genius, not Audrey, but Grace Kelly, so close.  Anyway BACK ON TRACK, now if you've recently seen my facebook profile you will know that I refer to my near departure to Paris as me as Audrey and therefore can infer how much the movie means to me. Well watching it tonight just made my heart flutter. I LOVE Sabrina, she is one of MY FAVORITE characters ever, and to see this movie again right now just made me absolutely sparkly and hopeful, and it cheered me up a little although not enough to change my facebook status...


Still angry and disappointed, 
But becoming slightly renewed, 
and feeling the need to sign off like a letter, 
Forever Marchelle

I don't know if this is actually what's going on in their heads but right now my parents are doing a very good job of making it seem like they don't believe I can succeed on my own. They've been so supportive all along and now they're showing the littlest bit of doubt. I think they have the best motives but it doesn't feel that way. It would be nice for them to say "We have faith in you Marchelle" "You can do whatever you set your mind to" , but they don't.

But I guess in this way, I have more motivation, you know to prove them wrong. i'm going to do it, I'm going to succeed and not just  to "make my mother happy" I'm going to do it for me. and only me. actually me and anyone else who has been told they can't do it without their mother, or by themselves. I'm doing this for you too, because I say you can. I have faith in you. Go chase your dreams, and succeed! Do it for yourself, and do it for me. 

Oh and for Grandpa Miller, who is the only one, I feel, really is happy for me. And is helping me in so many ways, I'm doing this for you too. and Thank you.